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piyopiyo13
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Name: Emerson
Country: United States
State: Connecticut
Birthday: 10/23/1983
Gender: Male
Expertise: Electrical Engineering
Occupation: Accounting/Finance
Industry: Banking/Finance
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/13/2003
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| Almost a year since I last posted... it's always interesting (and often, embarrassing) to go back and read old posts. Problems that once seemed so big I now barely remember. How easily I forget what God has faithfully done for me through the years! I used to think that people living in Jesus's time had it easy, that the miracles he performed would fuel their faith for a lifetime. As the list of God's blessings upon me grows ever longer, I am slowly realizing that miracles alone do not build faith. Having faith is a choice that we make. Indeed, often the faith comes even before the miracle happens.
So I want to put this in writing, that someday I might read this again and smile at God's faithfulness towards those who have been faithful to Him.
Lord, I want to pray for Gifted! and Koinonia Interactive. I know not where you intend to lead this project, but I pray that it would be able to live up to its mission of promoting fellowship among friends. I confess that I have been largely excluding You from this project, evident in how I have allowed my daily walk with You to slow as I devote my time to the venture instead. I invite You here and now as a business partner. Guide my hands and mind as I gather the game content. Bless the developers with supernatural skills as they code the software. Lend your creativity and beauty to the graphic designers and artists. May the final product be pleasing not just to the eyes of the world, but also to You.
Lord, I also ask You to remove the anxiety that has been weighing upon my heart for the past two months. I confess that I fear failure. I fear what people will think of me and the project when it is released. I fear the unknown technical problems that will inevitably arise. I fear that I might never recover the finances that my family and I have invested into this project. Lord, take those anxieties away and remind me of how many years ago Wolverine Systems was a failure in every aspect, and yet you redeemed that failure many years later for something much greater. Help me to understand that with You, there is no failure.
It is a privilege to have this opportunity and be able to run with it. I pray that we would grow closer through this partnership rather than farther apart. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.
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| Long day today... S&P 500 was down 2.5% today and my personal account got crushed. I'm learning to deaden my emotions when looking at PnLs, but I was still in an irritable mood by the end of the day.
I went home and ordered with my roommates for delivery from a local sandwich shop. The guy said it would take 45-55 minutes. An hour goes by. I call them. I'm told ten more minutes. Thirty minutes more pass. Still no food. I get really grouchy when I'm hungry, and given that I was already grouchy coming home from work, I was hopping mad at the 90-minute mark. I finally had enough. As my roommates looked on, I called the shop and canceled the order, venting my frustration on them. "Don't even bother sending it here!" I yelled. It was all I could do not to curse them out.
In a twist of irony that only God could provide, the doorbell rang literally five seconds after I hung up. I sheepishly accepted the food as my roommates laughed. As I was paying for the food, the delivery guy's cell phone started ringing, probably the store calling him to tell him not to deliver my food. Thankfully, he didn't answer it.
As we ate in the living room and my grouchiness was placated, my roommates kept imitating me on the phone and saying how they'd never seen me so angry before. I pretended to still be angry about everything, even though inside I was more embarrassed than anything else.
After dinner, as I was taking a shower, I thought about what had happened. I still felt foolish, and banged my head against the bathroom wall a couple of times reliving my diatribe. And I had done it in front of my roommates. What would they think of my faith now? I remembered a quote I had seen somewhere before: "Give grace freely, because you never know when you might need it back." Too late. I was filled with regret. Then God spoke:
"Apologize."
"What?"
"Call them back and apologize."
"What for? I don't even know the guy. Who cares?"
"I do. You made someone else's day more difficult for no good reason. You do this all the time. If you're going to do this all the time, then you should start getting used to going out of your way to apologize."
"I don't know..."
"You WILL call them back and apologize."
"All right, all right..."
Before I could change my mind, towel still wrapped around my waist, I picked up my cell phone and called them back, asking for "the guy that I yelled at." I told him I was sorry that I yelled at him and that it was completely unnecessary. He told me not to worry, that he understood I was hungry but that there were just so many orders they couldn't keep up. He added that next time he would make sure to really do a good job on the food and get it out in time. I thanked him, wished him a good night, and hung up. Instantly, all the regret, embarrassment and anger dissipated.
God's changing me a little every day.
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| OMG.... this is my high school senior class's Spirit Week video! I'm the guy that gets tripped in the cafeteria and who ends up eating outside in the cold... 
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZrL15ipINxU
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| Speechless... I was so ashamed that I had ever doubted the goodness of God that I cried at my desk after seeing this on my Bloomberg this morning:
ROCHELLE PARK, N.J. & NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)--September 11, 2007
United Retail Group, Inc. (NASDAQ: "URGI"), a specialty retailer
of large-size women's fashion apparel, and Redcats USA, Inc., a
subsidiary of Redcats Group, a leading home shopping marketer of
apparel and home products, today announced that they entered into
definitive agreement for Redcats USA to acquire United Retail Group.
Under the terms of the agreement, Redcats USA will commence a
tender offer to purchase all of the outstanding shares of United
Retail Group for $13.70 per share in cash, which is an aggregate
equity value of $198.9 million. The offer represents a 23% premium to
the 90-day average of United Retail Group's share price, and a 82%
premium to the closing price on September 10, 2007. 
This is the stock that I was lamenting about in my last post. This trade went from being one of the worst trades on the desk for the year to one of the best. God is faithful. | | |
| Work has been brutal... markets are in chaos. My investments at work are bleeding money even now as the dust is settling and other people on my desk are starting to get back into the black, even people junior to me. In my personal investments, I've lost enough money in the past few weeks to buy a small car. I can't help but think that maybe I'm just not cut out to be a successful trader, that maybe I was wrong to think that it was God who placed me in this job, even with my miracle/testimony of getting this job in the first place. I'm going to be chopped liver soon. A CFA doesn't do much good if you lose money anyway.
Today I must've sighed a dozen times in the ten minutes that it took to drive home. I plopped myself in front of my computer, planning to get through the pain by playing stupid java games and watching YouTube videos. Then I saw my Bible lying there next to my bed. Normally I don't pick it up until I do QT right before bed. I thought maybe I'd try something different today to ease the pain... see if Pastor Danny's sermon a few weeks ago was worth its salt.
After sifting through a few books, I stumbled upon this:
I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.
So I say, "My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the Lord.
I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.
Let him sit alone in silence,
for the Lord has laid it on him.
Lamentations 3:17-28
Fine... "buy and hold and pray" it is. 
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